Tag Archives: grief

Let Peace Rule – Advent Devotional Week 4

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Let Peace Rule – Advent Devotional Week 4

It was September 1999 after Brent and I had dated for 2 1/2 years when, in typical female style, I wanted commitment. Although I was crazy about him, my peace with our relationship was waning. Brent was understandably cautious about taking the ‘marriage’ plunge with
anyone, much less a gal with my disability…yet I needed to get commitment or back off and regroup. That was when, after much prayer and agony, I talked to Brent about a ‘break’. It was a difficult but healthy time for both of us. When Brent called me a week after our ‘break’ started to ask me out it was almost impossible to say no, but God gave me the strength to do it. Test – passed!

Even though this ‘break’ was rife with sadness, I had peace. No matter what happened I knew we would both be fine – whether together or not.  My heart dealt with grieving the potential loss of Brent as well as the loss of my mom four months earlier.  It was my relationship with God and love for wisdom that gave me the strength to make a tough choice. I knew that peace within is not a mere absence of grief or difficulty, but an active experience of following God that promotes peace regardless of circumstances.

As we light the advent candles we remember that Christ’s birth set the stage to bring us life with hope, love, joy and peace. He is ever present in our times of grief and difficulty. I can’t help but pause to think of those who struggle to celebrate this season because they grieve.

The focus of peace reminds me to find gratitude and celebrate by making choices – wise choices – that may be tough but bear good fruit. Peace is present when we choose to thank, choose to let go of fear, and choose to trust the One and Only – especially in our grief and heartache – and even if it means a girl might never get married or never walk again!

Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts…. And be thankful. Colossians 3:15

Obviously, the story of our relationship ended in marraige…we took our healthy ‘break’ and after a couple months began to see each other again. To my complete surprise within two months Brent proposed! I think I said something like ‘Huh? Are you sure you want to get married?’ Oh yeah, then I said ‘Yes!’.

As we approach Christmas  ‘may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.’ Romans 15:13 NIV

Would love to hear about your difficult, yet ‘peace-full’ circumstances…

Goodbye, Hello, and Thank You

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Saying goodbye to an old friend is not fun – even when it is necessary and desirable.

A recent farewell to my faithful van of 15 years was…believe it or not…a sad event. My highly modified van is a dear friend!
– It took Brent and I everywhere we went for our first eight years together.
– My mom rode next to me on the way to chemo treatments until she used a wheelchair and rode in the back.
– My precious former canine assistant, Murray, perched himself in the front seat as we went to work each morning; he flirted with other drivers the whole time, of course he curled up behind me in the back seat after a long day at the office.
– Tahoe, on the other hand, sticks with me and rarely hops on the seat when he rides.

So many memories..

Goodbye van
Although excitement is brewing with the thought that I will soon wheel around town in a new accessible sports car (aka a minivan), a few tears ran down my cheek as I watched my big old gem take its final trip from our home.

Isnt it funny how we hang on to the old in lieu of the new?

My recent ‘goodbye-hello’ experience sits smack dab in the midst of two bible studies – one from Deuteronomy and another from Exodus. OK,  I really appreciate it when the bible whacks me on the head! I knew this was a season of change in many ways….and like the Israelites during their journey from Egypt to the Wilderness to Canaan, I resist, don’t listen enough and take provision for granted…

…add an illness and a busy schedule and I might enter the land of complaint.

‘Hold up!’ I tell myself! I can live in the land of thanksgiving instead of the land of complaint.

The land of thanksgiving is full of provision. It may be quail and manna or it may be milk, honey, fruits and grains…but there is always provision.

Praying you choose the land of thanksgiving during your seasons of change.

– Madge

Here’s a short, but powerful verse for my scripture memorizing friends.

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever.  
1 Chronicles 16:34

Tahoe Loves His Dad

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In honor of our next-door neighbor’s little 12 year old canine, Pepper, I am doing a dog post today. Pepper went to doggie heaven this week and we grieve the loss of our neighbors sweet pup. Tahoe will miss running to the fence and visiting with you Pepper!  I always get ‘doggy contemplative’ whenever a friend loses a beloved four-legged friend.

I’m not sure if it’s because I’m a woman, or because I’m just weird, but on occasion my thoughts drift to what it would be like without my Tahoe or without Brent. My gratitude for Tahoe and Brent is more intense in these times. Brent is such a wonderful doggy dad and neither he or Tahoe can be taken for granted.

You know, I might not be married to Brent if it were not for my former  ‘Brent magnet’, I mean ‘helper dog’, Murray. Brent is attracted to all canines and they are attracted to him. Let me just illustrate how much Tahoe loves his dad and how much his dad loves him!

When we travel Brent is with Tahoe and me almost 24/7 and Tahoe spends so much quality time with him you might think he’s his helper. He snuggles up for a nap at the Lodge when we visited Calloway Gardens in Pine Mountain, GA.

…when I go for a swim, Tahoe and Brent relax.

Brent is the best at taking a cat-nap, or should I say ‘dog-nap’, to recharge for ten minutes.  Brent needs his naps because I inevitably disturb his sleep at night…more than once.  Yes, he is a saint.

It must have been a long night for both of them.

Brent always calls Tahoe to come join him at nap time.

Tahoe snuggles up after his after bath.

It’s not just Tahoe who loves Brent – all dogs love Brent.  Here’s our neighbor’s dog, Zeek, visiting with Brent’s size 15 feet.  He is 6’6″ after all.

Dogs are good judges of character.
I’m jealous on the rare occasion it snows because I can’t roll around very well to play,(or tolerate the cold for long) so I watch and drink hot cocoa!  There’s enough Tahoe love for both Brent and me.

After a tough day running around town with me, picking up my pen, keys or cell phone one more time, and fetching his Kong with us, Tahoe’s sleepy and snuggly…and doesn’t care how silly he looks.

At night Tahoe gets himself all snuggled to me, believe it or not…it’s probably because I don’t move or snore like his dad.


Tahoe has a ‘pink’ nose in the winter – it’s black in the summer.  Precious Tahoe and Brent, my blessings, make me smile.

As the year comes to a close we regroup and refresh our goals – living each day with gratitude is a continued goal for 2012. We work together on family direction in different areas like health, finances, ministry, marriage, travel, home improvements, etc.  In my personal life, fostering my gratitude attitude continues to be on the radar in every area.  Sometimes it’s harder than others to refrain from complaint and discontent – it’s worth the effort to thank, even when I don’t ‘feel’ like it. Today it’s easy to be exceeding grateful -Tahoe and Brent rank at the top of my blessings!

Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Thes. 5:18

What are you most thankful for in 2011?  Are you ready for 2012?

Paws to Remember

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My friend, Krista, said goodbye to her precious Gracie yesterday.  Gracie was in her family for 12 years and helped Krista and her husband raise four children. She loved her squeeky toys, and her bark was bigger than her bite as she mastered the role of ‘pseudo guard dog’ upon initial greeting. Before you could blink she’d curl up next to you. Everybody loved Gracie.

Losing a ‘pet’ is often given too little emotional weight – these creatures are not ‘replaceable’, and I pray friends and family appropriately grieve when this situation occurs. It’s natural to mourn when we lose our beloved four-pawed companions. It calls for the jolt of ‘a new normal‘ in our lives. Gracie, you will be missed.

A trip down memory lane is in order for those of us who have experienced the loss of a furry friend…Today, Gracie reminds me about my past losses.

Mindy was our first family pup.  She joined us when I was eleven and passed due to cancer during my first year of college. There was a strange void when I came home for a visit after she was gone.

It was years later when my heart welcomed ‘Mr. Murray’; he was the first pup who claimed me as ‘mom’.  Murray was a party dog and an enthusiastic Canine Assistant.  He retrieved everything from keys to dollar bills for me and was the office mascot who sometimes took the role of Santa’s helper in the lobby at Christmas.  Murray, in my opinion, is the reason that my dog-whisperer husband, Brent, noticed me. He loves animals and had Boone, a black lab, when we met. It was a match made in doggie heaven.

Boone was loyal, loyal, loyal. He was Brent’s dog through and through, and he was my adopted little one when we married.  For over ten years he served as a therapy dog at Eggleston Children’s Hospital and he claimed the foot of our queen-size bed until his last days.

Awwww. Now it’s just Tahoe!

Gracie, Mindy, Murray and Boone you are missed. Thank you for your display of unconditional love and acceptance. The world would be a better place if humans could be as kind, forgiving and accepting as you were.

For those who grieve and face ‘a new normal‘ – May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13